Turkey Bacon

It's so unfulfilling there really is no point. It's also ugly and doesn't lose that hideous shape. Neither does it get crispy enough. I can get with turkey burgers. Those joints are bangin. If made properly they taste just as good as beef if not better. Turkey sausage is very ehhh. I actually had some delicious vegetarian sausage when I went to south Florida. Turkey bacon? No and absolutely not.

The French Fry Prayer

I gave fries up for Lent. This may mean nothing to you but it was huge to me. I eat too much fast food. I know this, but it doesn't stop me from overdoing it repeatedly. Everywhere I go I eat fries. While reading a book this morning, it wasn't even talking about fries and I was fiending for some. It was ridiculous. My pastor said every time you think about what you gave up for Lent, pray. I'm over here salivating. May it not be a long day. Let me go pray again. I've been up an hour and already this will be time number 3.


That is NOT What Bread Should Look Like!

Tell me this... what is the point of very thinly-sliced bread? My dad brought some home and I'm perplexed. Look at it.

(I like that picture. It looks slightly styled.) That's barely the size of one regular slice! Plus its the smallest loaf ever. It looks even smaller in person. I know I'm food adventurous but come on! That is some crazy looking bread. I was quite worried about how it would toast up seeing as I only like lightly toasted bread. No burnt anything anywhere please if you're serving me toast. How will it toast properly? Do I need to put it on the lowest setting. I didn't and look what happened.
One piece slid its way down and came out all facaca. The skinny slices had to be delicately placed in the toaster. It looked horrid just sitting on the plate until I used the semi-normal (how normal can you be when its a skinny slice?) slice as the base, topped it with a fried egg, and two sausages, the crazy slice as the finale. Only then was I slightly okay with the crazy bread because if nothing else, it makes an interesting-looking sandwich.

Now tell me the point of eggs in the basket. I'd never even heard of it before I looked up fried eggs for this post. That does not look appealing to me. Possibly because I only like my foods to touch when I allow them to do so. Not while cooking. Soups, stews, sauces don't count of course but eggs and toast? Please allow them to cook at their own speeds. I'm just thinking of the eggs sogging up the toast. *shudder*

Yes, I'm aware that this post makes me seem more than a little crazy and I'm okay with that.