Shrimp, Glorious Shrimp

How I wished I liked you.  You're so pretty.  Cooked and uncooked.  But I don't like the way you taste.  I don't know why but I don't.  I really wish I did.  When I see you in dishes or on tv, I say, mmm that looks good!  I will eat you and I don't hate you, but I want to like you.  Or even love you.  You make my life sad, shrimp.  Why do you do it?  Please stop.



I'm Having A Moment!!!

I'm sitting here listening to songs from the first Carl Thomas cd on youtube. I LOVE THE INTERWEB!! I'm seriously sitting here crooning with my eyes closed! To the thief who stole this cd along with all FIVE 112 cds, curses to you! Curses I say!!! *shaking fist*

"Emotional" Yes!

"Summer Rain" Indeed!!

Thank ya!


"And what the fcuk is that smell?!??!"

name that movie. extra credit to whoever gets it first. 1/2 extra credit to second place.

So. I'm at the mall returning/exchanging some things I got for my dad on Father's Day. Seeing how I had a lil extra cash in my stash, I look down at my toes and figure I need a pedi.

*I wish I took a 'before' pic. They -no lie- looked like I kicked rocks with no shoes on. what had happened was, I tripped on a shoe and ran my toes into the dresser, therefore breaking nails and chipping polish*

I go to the resident asian spot for manis, pedis, and waxes. been there before and had no problems...

Why did I get the world's oldest man to do my feet?? no lie, I think he invented mahjongg. and y'all know that Asians be up there in age...

he.took.for.ev.er! It was really the world's longest pedicure. and its not like I had anything to do today so i was pressed for time. No, I was leisurely walking the mall and a pedi was an afterthought; not on my to do list!! argh he took so long! My thing is, don't be trying to get Grampa out the house and have him doing nails... let him play checkers in the park!

next observation

ghetto women and their nails.


I don't think Revlon, Maybelline, or any other cosmetic companies make blue or neon green nail polish anymore. Its the ghetto brands like wet n' wild that come out with these colors to this day, and abet women in maintaining their ghetto stance in society.

That sounds like a thesis.

Now I will admit, I was a fan of the ghetto fab nails at one time. when? when I felt the need to exert my south Florida presence at a school in southern virginia. I did the marble, checkerboard, glitter and ice on the nails. But... they were NEVER blue or green. Not even purple. i was 18 years old; at the oldest 19. Those were the years I got my 1st and last tattoos to give you a time frame of where my mind was at at that time... young, dumb, *shoulder shrug*. I had no bills and could spend my money on whatever I wanted. Which brings me to my point.

why are you 24 with 2 kids and you're getting designs on ALL your nails like that's what's up?? I KNOW how much those things cost so yes, I'm looking at you like you're stupid.
"Ummm, can I get planet earth on my pointers, dollar signs on my ring fingers cause the man i'm gonna marry better have money, OWW! silver and gold and purple marble on my middle fingers and an iced out tip on my thumbs?"

next point

nasty feet.

Oh Lord, I had the screw face on when this lady came in talking about her " extra thick cuticles".

Ma'am, cuticles don't wrap around to the top of your nail.

Then she tried to play it off saying, "i've been getting my feet done for as long as I can remember so I don't know where this is coming from! Although, I did try and cut some off the top"

So do you get your feet done or do you torture your own feet at home? The asian chick was like, "yeah, they look... inflamed. But cuticle is only at the base of the nail bed so whatever was at the top of your nail must have excess skin"

Y'all. If you saw what I saw...

are there varicose veins in your feet?
what about crows feet?
i didn't know white people get ashy?
if a nail is not quite opaque clear, isn't that a sign of something more serious??
if there is no nail to file, should you bother telling the person, "oh I don't want them cut"? I think she knew that already!

white women.

needless to say, I won't be going to the nail shop at the mall anymore. too much riff-raff, not enough pros.


Cooking with Jameil

Here's the night I went to town with the food. Chicken thighs marinaded in a mojito marinade from Whole Foods, white rice and black beans topped with fresh salsa. I was not a fan of the marinade. You know how marinades permeate your food. This one had a bit too much of something. What, I'm not quite sure yet since this was a while ago. At least it looks pretty. And everything other than the chicken was good. I couldn't get enough of the beans.


No Wonder I Love It!!

Rachael Ray is the most fabulous person in the world!! Did you know oregano means joy of the mountain? She just told me that. NO WONDER I LOVE IT SO MUCH!! It is seriously my favorite spice. I put some fries in the oven and went to put salt, pepper and oregano on them and though I just re-arranged my spices (yes, there are that many) after cooking late Saturday night, I COULDN'T FIND IT.

I won't lie.

I panicked.

What?! It was scary! That is seriously my favorite spice and I will put it in every single dish. Even eggs. You know how some people are about hot sauce and ranch dressing? Ketchup and oregano. But oregano goes really well with ranch dressing, too... omg... I just had an epiphany. Ranch dressing, hot sauce, s&p, oregano on fries... there are no words. I'm tempted to go through the 25 minute fry cooking process again just to experience that. That's what the weekend's for, folks. Big plans. LMAO! Why do managers use the word "folks" so much? It's so disingenuous. I've gotten used to team but folks? Especially in the north. Stop it.

Back to business. So after frantic moving around of spices, Worcestershire sauce and Pam, I found the oregano tucked in the back. PHEW!!! Praise God for that one! No really. After chastising it for being so far back, I caressed the bottle a bit and sprinkled liberally on my fries. And just now upon hearing what oregano means, I know it is kismet that I love it. Loosely translated, my name means "beautiful light from the mountain." *throws down mic*


Mediterranean Chicken Crepes

I wasn't sure what I'd get at S.quare Cafe today until I was waiting for my church homie and I looked down at the specials board. And there it was. Chicken, kalamata olives, onion, capers, mushrooms and red pepper in a lemon white wine sauce wrapped in three golden crepes. Love. Love on a plate. Absolutely marvelous. Simply divine.

Afterwards we walked to this vintage store. FABBBBBBBBBBUUUUUUUUUULLLLLLLLLOUS brooches!! NEED! And a cute hat, too. But I thought they were a bit overpriced. $50 for costume jewelery and $38 for a used hat? Especially when I bought 3 hats for $12 in the parking lot across the street last summer. (Oh and since it's Derby Day, let's talk about how I have a new "need" for the new year. A fabulous Derby-esque hat and not necessarily by her, but I wouldn't complain.) Yeah right, sir. I should've haggled with him. Maybe next time. I'll have to catch him on a Tuesday morning when they're slow. It's a recession, honey. It's time for you to come up off some of that merchandise. "You can do it, you got it in you. No eggs... no baloney!!" :) One of my fave movies.


The Thrill is Gone

I used to love M.ad Mex. It was my favorite Mexican restaurant in the 'burgh and I would take people there when they came to town. Now... not so much. This is the second time I had some food I wasn't really down for. Recipes they obviously had not perfected yet but put on the menu anyway.

The first was their mole. I know I'm not a chocolate fan but something about the sauce just tasted off. Something was not quite right about it. Last night I had the lamb burrito. First, the waiter seemed to have no idea what I was talking about even though it was on the chalkboard when you walk in. Always know the specials, kid. Always. It's supposed to be "locally raised Elysian Farms Lamb Barbacoa with mint-pineapple salsa." I was wary of the salsa but it was pretty good. I love lamb but that was the part I wasn't so fond of. Some of it was tough and tasted like pork. The burrito had pinto beans in it. That wouldn't have been so bad if the beans were evenly cooked. Some of them were hard, some were soft. Not cute. It came with a blue potato hash which was exquisite. Better than the main dish. I'm so tired of filling out comment cards but these people need to know. Sigh.

I still LOVE the guac and their fire roasted tomato-chipotle salsa is FANTASTICALLY fresh. Love indeed. But the 'ritas... Every Mexican restaurant worth its salt has fab margaritas. Theirs? Not so much. They don't pack a punch like they should. It's mostly just juice. You can never taste the tequila. This, my friends, is a problem.


Musical Inspiration

Stace gave up music for Lent. Lent is long over, but that stuck with me because I know what an obsessive she is about music. I mean that's amazing! While on vacation guess who listened to next to no gospel and filled her head with lots of hoooooooooooooood HITS(!)? (There's a mixtape guy who says that in the middle of all the songs lol) If you guessed me, YOU'RE RIGHT! So I decided I'd only listen to gospel music this week to try to even things out. You know how sometimes you can feel a shift in your spiritual life? I know I can. I can tell when I haven't been to church. I'm more irritable, less patient and ready to fight! Lol. So maybe this will help me calm it on down... because this has been a WEEK!!!!!


One of the World's Great Tragedies

In Pittsburgh, the city where I currently reside, it is far easier to find Jewish food than Mexican food. I will eat a potato in any form you would like. Just you try me. But g.efilte fish? That looks disgusting. I'm usually quite open to foods foreign to my palette but the first time I noticed it in the store was on a trip to Florida last year. I paid attention because south Florida seems to have a rather high Jewish population and my friend's boyfriend is one of them. I decided to pay a little closer attention to his culture. No, he is not the first Jewish person I've ever met. I've been to a bat mitzvah or two, which I loved!! (Tossing candy in church??? WHY DON'T WE DO THIS EVERY SUNDAY, MOM!?) But I grew up in Charlotte, which though it has a sizeable J.ewish population, was not exactly a melting pot in the late 80s and early 90s.

That is neither here nor there. Let's get back to this fish in a jar. I have no problem with canned meats. My mom doesn't like canned foods or frozen prepared foods. She's all about cooking. (Fabulous southern woman.) But she liked spam (I don't know why) and didn't mind canned salmon. My dad loves sardines and passed that affinity on to me in the last year. But the fish in a jar??? Tell me that top picture is not one of the most unappetizing looking things you have ever seen in your life. That second picture is not much better. The preparation doesn't sound too different from salmon patties but the pictures... YIKES!!

The point is, I went to a regular grocery store looking for chipotles. I know, so typical of me. THEY DIDN'T HAVE THEM!! The only Mexican food they had in their section was regular salsa and tortillas. I'm sure there was something else but I was just so taken aback by the lack of chipotles I could've died!! I mean what on earth!?! Chipotles! CHIPOTLES!! There's a restaurant named after this popular pepper!! It's used in countless food network recipes!! I'm not asking for yuca! Not that I eat yuca regularly. I'm just saying. We should have a riot that I can buy fish in a jar and not chipotles.


"Mo Better" "Marathon" Til I'm "Empty"

If you're not familiar with Raheem Devaughn's latest, those are the titles of my favorite songs. "Mo Better" really gets me going in it's 7 minute and 39 second fabulosity.

Marathon feels like one "on and on and on."

But in a good way. AND it has Floetry on the track? Loving it and loving it. I know I'm late but I bought the cd on iTunes so it's only on my computer and my ipod. I rarely ever listen to music on the computer and only listen to my ipod at the gym which means fast-paced when in cardio mode. When working on the abs or other isolations I will turn on something other than break neck beats which is how I turned on the Raheem for one of the first times since I bought it the day it came out. Now that cds are so out of vogue, it's difficult for me to listen to R&B.... hence the reason I still don't have New Amerykah. So pitiful, I know but c'est la vie. At least for now. And yes I know I need a car dock. My godmother thought she bought me one for Christmas but it was a charger. That comes in handy at times, too but I would like to be able to listen to the ipod in the car since I have a 30 minute drive in each direction to and from work. Again... c'est la vie. Also feelin' "She's Not You." Ah Raheem. Bring yourself on over to Pittsburgh. Thanks.


I did it!

I made my very own ceviche.

and it was banging off the chain love in your mouth so good make you wanna slap yo momma!

all that.

i did put drew to work to take pics of course.

and now blogger is perking with uploading the pics.

1lb flounder
6 garlic cloves
1/2 large red onion
3 limes
1 bell pepper (preferably orange for color)
bush of cilantro
1 tomato
1 avocado
large glass or stainless steel bowl

Cut the fish filet into bite size pieces and place in large GLASS or STAINLESS STEEL bowl
crush 6 garlic cloves out of the paper. do not mince, CRUSH
slice the red onion thinly, add to bowl
squeeze the juice out of TWO limes and add to bowl
slice 1/2 bell pepper and add to bowl
rip leaves of cilantro off stems and add to bowl.

Mix/toss aforementioned ingredients well, cover with saran wrap and place in fridge for 30 mins.

After 30 mins, remove from fridge, mix/toss again. Drain lime juice. Dice tomato and add to recently drained mixture. Add juice from 3rd lime. Mix, cover, place in fridge for 15 min.

Remove from fridge and serve with slotted spoon. Garnish with cilantro sprigs and avocado wedges


Turkey Bacon

It's so unfulfilling there really is no point. It's also ugly and doesn't lose that hideous shape. Neither does it get crispy enough. I can get with turkey burgers. Those joints are bangin. If made properly they taste just as good as beef if not better. Turkey sausage is very ehhh. I actually had some delicious vegetarian sausage when I went to south Florida. Turkey bacon? No and absolutely not.

The French Fry Prayer

I gave fries up for Lent. This may mean nothing to you but it was huge to me. I eat too much fast food. I know this, but it doesn't stop me from overdoing it repeatedly. Everywhere I go I eat fries. While reading a book this morning, it wasn't even talking about fries and I was fiending for some. It was ridiculous. My pastor said every time you think about what you gave up for Lent, pray. I'm over here salivating. May it not be a long day. Let me go pray again. I've been up an hour and already this will be time number 3.


That is NOT What Bread Should Look Like!

Tell me this... what is the point of very thinly-sliced bread? My dad brought some home and I'm perplexed. Look at it.

(I like that picture. It looks slightly styled.) That's barely the size of one regular slice! Plus its the smallest loaf ever. It looks even smaller in person. I know I'm food adventurous but come on! That is some crazy looking bread. I was quite worried about how it would toast up seeing as I only like lightly toasted bread. No burnt anything anywhere please if you're serving me toast. How will it toast properly? Do I need to put it on the lowest setting. I didn't and look what happened.
One piece slid its way down and came out all facaca. The skinny slices had to be delicately placed in the toaster. It looked horrid just sitting on the plate until I used the semi-normal (how normal can you be when its a skinny slice?) slice as the base, topped it with a fried egg, and two sausages, the crazy slice as the finale. Only then was I slightly okay with the crazy bread because if nothing else, it makes an interesting-looking sandwich.

Now tell me the point of eggs in the basket. I'd never even heard of it before I looked up fried eggs for this post. That does not look appealing to me. Possibly because I only like my foods to touch when I allow them to do so. Not while cooking. Soups, stews, sauces don't count of course but eggs and toast? Please allow them to cook at their own speeds. I'm just thinking of the eggs sogging up the toast. *shudder*

Yes, I'm aware that this post makes me seem more than a little crazy and I'm okay with that.


E.xpress Loves Me

and I love E.xpress.

So today, my church is having picture day for our directory. Mom said she's wearing pink and green and said we should work around that.

See where I get my
1. brattiness and
2. my love for the p&g combo?

Whatever the case, you know that's no problem for me! I bust out this dress I got in Pitts.

How bout the photog was writing down the colors each of had and she wrote down, "magenta" for me! LOVE HER!

So Mini Me was eyeing my dress and asked if I bought the dress in all colors. Hanging my head low, I said, "no". Defeated. We both know that when something works for you, run with it. You will ALWAYS look good.


Stop the Music

Do you know avacados are $2.49 EACH up here??? EACH!! Are you out of your mind!? That is outrageous! Why even bother to sell them? Also saw jumbo navel oranges for 99 cents each. No. I will not be paying a dollar per orange. Regular navels 4/$2 (why didn't you just say 2/$1?). I'm not sure that's a deal, either. These people are crazy. I love avocado but come on.


Mmmmm... Chipooootleeee

I'm obsessed with chipotles. Smoked jalepeno peppers. Or as I call them smoky fruit of love (c). Sigh. The heat is a bit subtler than jalepenos. The smokiness masks the heat... but only for a moment. I bought some chipotle salsa and may never go back to regular. I mean I had to STOP myself from continuing to shove chipotle salsa-slathered tortilla chips in my mouth when the fire from them was numbing the back of my throat as my eyes began to water to match the faucet my nose became. Then I had to chase it with a glass of water and a glass of cranberry juice.

*I just drank more fluids in 10 minutes than Stace has probably had all day if not the last two days. Lol.*

But it was so worth it! I'd do it again! And I probably will tomorrow. Did you know salsa is fat free? Ya Jam right! And usually cholesterol-free. Plus I count that as a vegetable. If I don't I may never eat any vegetables with any regularity. After I calmed the fire in my mouth, I still needed more. Plus I'd also bought spinach flour tortillas which smelled super fresh and were calling my name. Jameilllllll. Huh? Jaaaaameeeeiiilllll.... Whaaaa? You know you want me... Jam right I want you! Come here chipotle! Time to meet spinach tortilla. I made some ground turkey with cumin, salt, pepper, corn and black beans. Mix it with 3 tablespoons of salsa (told you I wasn't playin), rip the tortilla like the Mexicans do (that's what my Mexican friend said anyway) and go to town. And I still wanted more salsa. Don't stop til ya get enough! Jameeeiiilll


Wait. What?

Did the New York Times really just review First Sunday? Marvin Gaye!! Where are you when I need you? I need to know what's goin on! Ooooh what's goin on (a what's goin on)? And... it wasn't ripping it to shreds. Perplexed am I. Just. so. confused.


And Anotha One

The newest issue of Everyday with Rachael Ray magazine is here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHO'S EXCITED?! I AM I AM!!!!!!!! I literally jumped up and down through my snotty nose and stuffed up head. Time to go drool!