I Know I'm Not Wrong

My fellow managers here have a similar outerwear fetish, though obviously Stace doesn't need it. So today I was saying I've decided I'm going to become the stylist for new Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin's wife. She's adorable and I liked her outfit for the occasion (black and gold wrap dress with black knee high boots), but she had on a green pea coat and was carrying a brown bag. I said, her clothing should match her outerwear.



**crickets**



My director looked at me like I was nuts. What?

No one else does this? It's like do the shades match the drapes? You wouldn't dye your hair without dyeing your... just kidding... but I always match my outerwear to my clothing. That's why I have I think 5 jackets, 4 scarves (need more), had 3 pairs of earmuffs but one pair broke. Ash hates on me but its my thing. I love earmuffs. I think they're adorable. Maybe that's why the other day the waiter asked me if I'd just turned 21. It could also have something to do with the fact that I had on these bright green, pink, yellow and blue striped rain boots and turquoise leather gloves. I know it sounds horrid, but Stace and I have discussed in painstaking detail how you cannot describe anything, no matter how gorgeous with more than 2 colors or it sounds hideous and overdone. Best to leave it to the imagination or show pictures, right? I know. But I don't have a digital camera yet... I know. I said I have to buy one before the next time I see Kyle. So in about 2 weeks!

Back to the point. My outerwear. I was like, I only have 5 coats. A brown/black wool tweed, a black/white wool herringbone, a short beige cotton pea coat, a pink/white long wool pea coat, a gold/red/green flower-embroidered pea coat (don't start. we've already talked about naming multiple colors), a black hooded wool car coat (which I never wear anymore), and a short black snorkel (you know the coats with the fur-trimmed hood). Oops. I guess I lied to her. I have 7. But I only wear 6 AND I look damn fly doin it. Haters are gonna hate. Hahahahaha.

Furthermore, I still need a red coat and a cream one. They both must be wool pea coats in the appropriate color and style. I don't do double-breasted and am very picky about my reds. I found a perfect cream one at the end of last season but they didn't have my size. I've been on the hunt for the perfect red coat for at least 3 years and I'm not giving up. Ever. *maniacal laughter*