10.30.2006

For the Fellas

*Don't mix patterns without adult supervision. If you have never done it before without getting strange looks or have always been told not to mix colors and patterns, heed the following.

*When mixing patterns, don't go for two patterns of the same size. You can mix large box plaid with skinny stripes. Don't do fat stripes and large box plaid. It will make you look clownish. Stick to two, or at most three patterns. You come off as pretentious or awful if you get it right or wrong so just leave it alone.

*Do wear pink, but not in your athletic wear.

*Don't wear glitter. I know this is hard for the DC area folk, but this is important. There is nowhere outside of DC you can go with that attire on without getting sideways glances. There is a reason for this.

*Go outside the gray, black, green, blue color palette. Almost everyone looks sexy in some shade of red. I know Stace will cosign on this.

*Accessorize! I don't mean like gold teeth and giant necklaces with cross medallions in cubic zirconia. I mean like a nice grown up watch, a tie, a POCKET SQUARE, CUFFLINKS. MEN! I can't tell you how sexy those two things are. I'm telling you. Women notice these things. If you don't think you can pull of a pocket square without constantly fidgeting with it, then don't. But the cufflinks will get you points.

*Shoes. You're a grown up now. DO buy nice leather shoes you could wear to church or an interview. DON'T feel the need to wear tennis shoes to every club you attend.

*Don't be intimidated by fashion. If colors and patterns scare you, wear your basic neutrals, i.e. gray, brown, black, navy with a pop of color. Red, royal blue, green, purple, pink. Yellow doesn't look very good on many people, and sometimes only in varying shades. Ask a person whose fashion sense you trust to let you know. I can't tell you how great gray looks with all of the aforementioned. If you do nothing else, get you some nice gray slacks.

*Speaking of pants, they shouldn't bag around your ankles. Of course you don't want them to be too short, but there should not be several inches of fabric at the ankles.

I'm sure I'll think of more. This could become a regular feature. Stay tuned.....

12 comments:

Stacie von Kutieboots said...

i want to know what THREE patterns ANYONE can get away with...

i personally hate mixed patterns. it bothers me to see paisley and plaid, polka dots and stripes, zig zags and whatever else. I think the pattern itself should be like an accessory. so you have on a nice purple shirt; your purple, lavender and green paisley tie
should be that accessory that sets it off as opposed to doing the monocrhomatic regis look, you know?

i just realized I'm not the biggest patterned person anyway. i have 1 polka dot dress (black with lite pink) and 2 striped button downs (b/w & org/blue). hmmm.

love the pink part. every man should wear pink. and please wear red! Thanks Jameil!!

The Very Reverend Ace Clemmons, Jr. said...

thanks J!

im very careful with patterns. i can get away with a lot on stage. but im a drummer so most people cannot see whats going on below waist..

solids have always treated me right and i stick with em' Pink and red big parts of my wardrobe.

there was a period when i had bleach blonde hair, and that in conjucntion with pink, made me a huge candidate for a gay man. I weathered it tho. it worked to my benefit occaisonally......

ace

jameil1922 said...

again... this is only w/adult supervision. but a very skinny pinstripe, a tie w/large diagonal stripes and a faint box plaid shirt or pocket square. they need to be in the same color family, though. trust. it can be muy cute.

i love mixed patterns when done correctly. i've seen it messed up before tho and its painful.

and we know you hate patterns anyway so you're not a good judge!! hahahahaa!

ace... you're welcome! :D you know this was for you. solids are great but i like to see menfolk step out a little. you have the perfect job to do some crazy fun stuff w/your wardrobe. how did coming off as a gay man help you? you could slide in w/o being noticed then they'd be like "let me fix you, you're not really gay" and then you go "hey girl heh heh no i'm not come here let me give you summa this"? let me know.

The Very Reverend Ace Clemmons, Jr. said...

"you could slide in w/o being noticed then they'd be like "let me fix you, you're not really gay" and then you go "hey girl heh heh no i'm not come here let me give you summa this"? let me know."

Dead on J. bulls eye.

jameil1922 said...

hahahahahaha. i knew it. its so hard bein a genius! not really i have all these capt. saveaho friends (and sister and momma). i don't save them. they don't wanna be saved. some of my friends tho "I'll save her!" is their motto.

Stacie von Kutieboots said...

shut your hater ass up. our friend doesn't want to save anyone. she wants to get to them before they need saving (elementary school). she told me to tell you that. t.o? she just wants to be his friend, not his savior. she also told me to tell you that.

"thanks J!" twice.

X Factor said...

Yall already know how I feel about a man who is brave enough to wear colors... LOVE THEM!! An okay man in a pink shirt with a patterned tie gets IMMEDIATELY bumped up to sexy. No questions asked. But I also agree about the need for supervision... sometimes too many patterns can have you looking like a paint explosion!

DP said...

GLITTER?


GLITTER?


GTFOHWTBS.....who is running around with a dick in their pants and glitter on??????


unless of course you LIKE dick...and there aint nothing wrong with that, im just sayin...


What straight man is running around with GLITTER ON????

Southern Girl said...

"Do wear pink, but not in your athletic wear."

I am printing this out and giving it to my brother....my uncles....every man I know. Down here, they wear pink shoe laces in their tennis shoes to match the pink wrist band that goes with there pink top..its just too damn much!! Tacky....I like pink on a man, in moderation and in a classy way...this is good. Real good....

jameil1922 said...

stace... someone is assing herself out.

x said no questions asked!! lmao! bump them sexy fools up!

dp... yes, glitter. its one of them dc guy things. they also wear puffy paint. looking like their little sisters had a slumber party. hate it! they'd get cut for that stuff in the south. sorry bout it. not condoning it, i'm just saying.

southern... please print it out! lmao! that's like my number one rule. hate a man in pink athletic gear. straight garbation.

Stacie von Kutieboots said...

"garbation" and "looking like little sisters had a slumber party" Jameil, this is some classic ish!!! LMAO!!!

jameil1922 said...

hahahaaha! i can't take credit for garbation. the bf came up w/that one and I IMMEDIATELY put it to work! Hahahahahah!